Sweet-OR-Beat?
The world of high and low, wrong and right, good and bad, fresh and tainted!
Apr 10th, 2011 @ 9:25 pm
BEAT TO HELL: STABUCKS CULTISTS
Oh its great coffee, that’s awesome, but you are all such losers to listen to in line. Get a damn hobby or interest! NEWS FLASH drinking the same shitty cup of coffee everyday is not an art form! Seeing these massive groups of desperate housewives, stacked 10 deep in line, dressed to the nines in their overpriced Nike running gear, as they yap to each other about how awesome their ugly kid is doing in middle school and how inadequate their husbands are in bed (wow there is a real brain teaser? I wonder why they are not interested in their fallen princesses?!??!?). Just as they get to the top of the line after waiting for 5 minutes, THEY HAVE NO CLUE as to what they are going to order!!! THEN they cough up some ridiculously long, over complicated order that is really impossible for the poor kids behind the counter to make right, so usually its followed by “well I wanted 125 degrees this seems like 115” or “I said mochiatolama not mochiatalima!” What bunch of losers with no lives. Order a damn coffee or juice and move aside, or just go cry yourself to sleep in the corner over how utterly boring and meaningless your lives have become.
Some people seem to have all the time in the world… I DO NOT.
Apr 9th, 2011 @ 5:59 pm
ROBO SWEET: ROBOCOP
My favorite movie of all time. This movie really helped define the man I have become! It had everything: dystopian plot, Reaganomics, an eerily relevant commentary of the military-industrial complex, guns, sicko cocaine snorting CEOs and possibly the second and third best villains of all time: Clarence Boddiker and ED-209. The acting was great for an 80’s sci-fi movie and much of the prophetic dystopian commentary has come true! Including the rusty death of Deptroit City. A MUST WATCH for the first time or the 30th!
@ 5:38 pm
BEAT: Harry Reid
The guy just radiates weakness. I don’t get how this man was voted into, or has kept power? Like a timid mouse this guy. The dems put some of their wackiest, most polarizing figures into positions of leadership. Marketeers they are not!
Next to John Boehner this guy just looks totally outgunned. Like the captain of the chess team and the football team, wild!
@ 4:36 am
MASSIVELY SWEET: THE OCTOPUS
I have always enjoyed keeping up with the latest and greatest in the mega-yacht world. Since it’s launching nothing has come close to Paul Allen’s “Octopus.” This thing is no longer the biggest but it still is the best. Quality over quantity, this baby has the most thoughtful design of all time, featuring 2 helidecks, one with a massive hangar. Allen primarily flies the same helicopter that the Queen of England does (Sikorsky S-76) and keeps an ultra high-tech MD-800 NOTAR as a backup. The Octopus has a full on well deck with mega tender and multiple submarines, and jet skis and smaller boats seem to appear from out of nowhere from the sides of her hull. The boat was built to be an ultra luxury cruiser with a secondary role as an exploration vessel, both missions it executes often.
Paul Allen lives a James Bond villain’s lifestyle, and has the toys to prove it! Check out the pdf below to see how ridiculously sweet this leviathan is!
http://www.dieselduck.net/images/power%20points/MY%20Octopus.pdf
@ 3:54 am
BEAT: Mini Van Drivers
You make life slower, insanely frustrating, and downright dangerous. You know who you are!
@ 3:17 am
SUPER SWEET: Boardwalk Empire
This show bakes in the rich filling of the Sopranos, including it’s visceral writing style and infinite plot depth, covers it with the sweet icing of Mad Men with its colorful visuals and sweeping period specific production, and embellishes it with an unrivaled cast of characters played by out of this world actors. In essence, Boardwalk Empire is one massive birthday cake fit for a king, you will be left yearning for 2nd and even 3rds. This is hands down the SWEETEST television show of all time.
If you don’t have HBO: Stop being a cheapskate, its $15 a month! That is 2 crappy drinks at a ”sweet” bar, or 1 movie ticket with a small popcorn!!
Apr 5th, 2011 @ 2:43 am
BEAT: COSTCO
This place is Hell on earth for me. A huge, dusty, poorly lit hangar full of oversized crap, filled with rude somewhat disgusting people. Some people love this place, they love the lack of employee interaction and posit the “quality” of the merchandise. This is the most uncreative place on the planet and just another glaring monument to the death of America’s once bright and entrepreneurial main street. Even Best Buy is a relaxing experience compared to this stress inducing schlep. The sound of the carts alone drives me insane, and seeing the people eat their hot dogs under the sodium lights makes me re-evaluate human kind as a whole. Enjoy your big lots folks!
@ 2:33 am
SWEET: Daft Punk’s Score To TRON Legacy
Wow, the movie sucked for the most part, but good lord did Daft Punk write a masterpiece score to this crappy film! As if John Williams was assimilated by the Borg! BUY THIS ALBUM. THE WHOLE ALBUM.
@ 1:56 am
BEAT: The Chrysler 200
Great commercial concept, first time I saw it my train of thought flowed as such:
Wow ok, Eminem, ok I can get into this…
Man this is great, yes lets rebuild the American dream starting with Detroit!
HELL YES, I want this ride to look mean as hell and be the rebirth of Detroit iron!!!
Then they rolled that half ass Honda Accord wanna-be into the frame. My heart sunk, what an abortion. Why would they waste such an epic spot on such a mediocre ride. SICKENINGLY STUPID. They should of rolled out a killer new flagship or the new Viper, not a god damn grocery getter.
CHRYSLER: YOU DESERVE TO FAIL.
@ 12:38 am
SWEET: The Airborne Laser
You think Star Wars weapons (both the Reagan and the Lucas flavors) were just for science fiction or the far off future? Well you are wrong! They actually live and thrive in the massive forest of cash that is the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency! Of all the laser programs in development, nothing comes close in the sex factor department as the Boeing’s YAL-1. Basically a 747 freighter with a super powerful oxygen-iodine laser stuffed inside that fires through a massive turreted lens in the nose that actually adapts to the changes in atmosphere, allowing it to drill holes in the skin of missile sized objects hundreds of miles away. Rumsfeld wanted a small fleet of these things to keep the likes of Ahmadinejad and the Jonger at bay. Oh, and it works! Well… kind of works. Now the program is in question due to lack of funding.
Dr. Evil eat your heart out…
War porn!:
